The Graves reviewed by the Director

The Graves (2009)

The Graves

The Lowdown:

Two curious, and smokin’ hot sisters Megan and Abby Graves (Clare Grant and Jillian Murray) are on a road trip.

Megan has just finished college, looking forward to a big career in business. Abby is an insecure high school graduate. The hot chicks stop off at a Dinner in a small desert town called Unity. There they learn about ‘Skull City Mine.’

Kinda sounds like Capt. Spaulding telling the young folks about the Dr. Satan legend.

Tough ass Megan persuades her timid sister to visit the supposedly haunted ghost town around Skull City Mine. There is a bizarre vibe in the little desert town of Unity. Yet these gothy looking girls sally forth, into big trouble.

Thrills and Blood:

This little straight to video B-horror goes straight to the thrills. We get scanty if any character development. Another group of four young people, I guess in their twenties, also visit Skull City Mine. Two of them are murdered before the camera crew is even set up.

The town of Unity is controlled by a malevolent demon. Not to worry Reverend Abraham Stockton (Tony Todd aka Candyman) mediates with the demon who I guess is Jesus, and the towns people. At least the Reverend seems to think the demon is Jesus.

The killing starts off quick in Skull City. ‘Mama’ tells the girls to make sure and visit the blacksmith. The blacksmith, who looks like a member of Lynard Skynard, says, “It ain’t nothing personal’ before he bludgeons his victims to death with a hammer. Until he meets Megan who has a black belt and is all to happy to fuck up the blacksmith.

The girl’s seem to have escaped until Mama’s other son and older brother of the blacksmith shows up, Caleb ‘Cookie’ Atwood (Bill Moseley). The thrills kick it up a notch.

Acting: 

Tony Todd is good as the Reverend. He gives the part his all.

Bill Moseley is great but it’s not really clear what he really is, his character, though entertaining, is vague. Why does he have a rubber pig snout under his hat? Does he always carry that with him? I guess he is an avid sadist. A role he plays well.

Clare Grant looks like a swim suit model and her acting fits the script. She is in almost every scene and I never got tired of looking at her. Murray (Abby) cries a lot and her mascara never runs.

No one else is of note.

Sex:

Nada. I know right? Disappointing. 

Gore: 

The movie earns it’s R rating. A medium does of blood and killing. We get some of that stupid CGI blood and some corn syrup and red food coloring. A gash here a stab there, not enough to satisfy a thirsty gorehound.

Final Thought:

The Graves is an okay way to spend a movie night. If you are looking for some easy on the eyes female models getting chased, kicking ass, and a kind of supernatural slasher with ambiguous religious over tones, this is it. Bill Mosley and Tony Todd’s roles are small but worth seeing if you are a die hard fan of either of them. I’ll watch anything with Bill Moseley in it.

I will say, as soon as I knew what was going on (about ten minutes past showtime), Lawrence S. Talbot and I guessed how the movie would end. Though I’m sure it was supposed to be a surprise of sorts.

This movie is a solid two out of five, but because I enjoyed it, it starred Bill Moseley, and Tony Todd. I’m bumping it to three stabs. If Clare Grant had done a full frontal and more of the gore and been on screen instead of off, it would have gotten another stab.

A Rating of 3 out of 5

-The Death Director