Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth -review by Rabid Fox

 

To quickly recap the end of Part II, Kirsty managed to remind Pinhead of his former human self, Captain Elliot Spencer. This allowed Kirsty and company to escape the box and seal the evil back inside. The part in which Pinhead “reverts” to his human self turns out to repercussions that are dealt with in Hellraiser III. There’s also the obelisk that pops up in Channard’s office at the end of II with several tortured-looking faces and Pinhead’s image along with the rest and that too is pertinent for the next film.

That said…

Part III starts with young playboy J.P. Monroe searching an art gallery for a new work to add to his collection. The obelisk is among the works there and the features of the work, tortured faces and a curious looking box also set into the sculpture, immediately catch J.P.’s eye. A sketchy-looking merchant is happy to part with the object and tells J.P. to get a great deal of “pleasure” from the object.

Meanwhile…

In another part of town, young newscaster Joey is reporting out of a local emergency room looking for her big break. It turns out to be a no-news night and her cameraman gets called away on a real story. Joey’s bad luck soon “improves” as a young man is rushed into the emergency room accompanied by a panicked-looking young lady. The man is covered in bloody chains with hooks embedded in his flesh. Joey watches as they take him into a room to attempt to treat him but the chains begin to float and crackle with energy while the man writhes in pain. Joey is then shocked when she sees the man torn apart. The young woman that accompanied the victim has run off but leaves behind a matchbook for a club called The Boiler Room so Joey leaves to find out more about the bizarre event.

And of course…

Through her brief investigating Joey learns that J.P. is the owner of The Boiler Room. She also learns that he’s a misogynistic asshole but there has to be at least one in every Hellraiser movie so in part III we have J.P. As a quick aside, the Boiler Room is a weird place.

Joey walks in to one part and the décor looks like it caters to metal heads but they’re playing Soup Dragons and the place is full of yuppies. Then in another room there’s a metal band playing on stage (well, 80s hair metal) and then when Joey finally runs into J.P. it’s in the dining room which looks like a 5-star restaurant and is full of well-to-do patrons that look like they would be very awkward at a metal bar. Anyway, it’s assumed that all of that is the same place which is crazy…

So it turns out that the young lady that Joey is looking for is Terri, J.P.’s “girlfriend”. I say that in quotations because even before they show J.P. banging other women it’s not too hard to imagine that he’s not a girlfriend kinda guy.

But Terri is curious to talk to Joey anyway so she shows up at Joey’s place and they have some girl talk about dreams and whatnot. Joey, by the way, has these vivid dreams about her father who apparently got left behind and died in Vietnam, or at least that’s how she dreams it. So after dreams and girl talk Terri reveals that the guy who was torn apart had been fiddling with the puzzle box that they pulled out of the sculpture at J.P.’s place. Later, Terri takes Joey to the gallery (and by takes, I mean they break in) where J.P. got the sculpture and they poke around looking for any information about its origins or any info that might be available on the box. They happen upon a folder containing some sketches of the puzzle box as well as information about the Channard Institute which is where the events of the previous film occurred (but you already knew that smarty!). Joey contacts the institute and pesters them for any information that they might have on the box or the sculpture and they send her tapes of Kirsty (hey, Kirsty!) talking about the box’s sinister secrets. In one of the videos, the Kirsty session is interrupted by a cutaway to Pinhead’s human persona Elliot Spencer who tells Joey that Kirsty’s seemingly crazy talk about demons and gateways to “hell” are true and that Spencer needs Joey’s help.

Meanwhile…

In a cutaway scene J.P. is pondering his sculpture when he notices a puzzle box-sized hole on one side. For no apparent reason other than “script said so” J.P. reaches his hand way inside the sculpture hole and finds a mouse or rat hiding in there which, scared, bites him and scurries away (go rat!). J.P. bleeds all over the place because the rat apparently had teeth long enough to hit pay dirt, and some of that blood gets on the sculpture and soaks in. If you remember the previous films, the villain gets stuck in some sort of limbo and needs blood – a lot of blood – to be brought back to life; in the first film it was Frank, in the second film it was Julia, and in this film it’s Pinhead. Pinhead whispers lots of tempting things to J.P. to get him on board with helping break the Cenobite out of his artsy prison and J.P. uses his playboy bad boy status to lure more people to the slaughter. At some point he thinks, “Hey, I wonder where my ‘girlfriend’ is? I bet she’d like to be sacrificed so that I can have more power!”

But…

Terri is not really interested in J.P.’s offer because Joey is trying to help her get her life back on track (or maybe just ‘on track’). But while Joey is out at some point Terri, who by the way is staying at Joey’s place, overhears an answering machine message about Joey getting a job out in California. So now Terri, thinking that Joey is just bullshitting her, decides to mope back to J.P. and she gets to see Pinhead emerge from the sculpture, lucky gal! But at least she left Joey a note so that Joey wouldn’t worry…

So now Joey’s vivid dreaming – or maybe not dreaming – continues with a step into Spencer’s limbo. Joey starts off in the Quonset hut where Spencer first unlocked the puzzle box and eventually became Pinhead but that image of him is frozen. As Joey leaves the hut she is in the trenches during WWI (Spencer’s original time) and he is there to explain, basically, that he is one aspect of Pinhead but that those elements of their personality got separated into two beings after the events of the previous film. So now Pinhead, the purely evil part, is loose, chaotic and, since he is unbound from the box, has limitless power. So Spencer implores Joey to help lure Pinhead back into Spencer’s limbo so that they can both stop him before he dooms everyone.

And since the movie’s sub-title is Hell on Earth, you can pretty much guess what Pinhead wants to do. Pinhead, outside of the box and with no intention of going back in, is able to really get down and make some Cenobites.

It hadn’t really been established before just how that happens but the second movie seemed to imply that Leviathan (a part of the movie mythology that just seems to get dropped… forever…) is the one that transforms souls into soldiers of hell.

Oh well. So Pinhead tears through the Boiler Room and slaughters pretty much everyone. Joey stumbles on to the site of the massacre and has a little chat with Pinhead. Joey actually has the upper hand since Pinhead can’t really hurt her while she has the box and he can’t just take the box, it has to be given to him willingly. But, Pinhead can affect everything around Joey so when she runs off he uses his power bring chaos out into the streets. Pinhead also proceeds to turn a bunch of people into Cenobites to help go after Joey. Most of these newbie ‘bites look kind of cheesy; one of them, the Boiler Room DJ, gets turned into some CD-spewing monster which is kind of terrible and funny and makes you wonder what he would look like in the MP3 era. And her camera-man buddy from earlier gets turned into a Cenobite with an evil camera lense eye and gets to say “Ready for your close-up Joey?” and “that’s a wrap” in a “menacing” way.

And now for the showdown…

Joey has the puzzle box and she and Spencer want Pinhead trapped back inside whereas Pinhead and his Cenobite horde are trying to track down the box in order to destroy it and remain free of hell once and for all. During all the street chaos Joey enters a church to seek holy protection. Pinhead enters and gleefully destroys the church and its holy icons, laughing away the priest’s attempt to ward away the evil by holding a cross. Pinhead removes some of his head pins and impales himself through the palms in a mock-crucifixion then performs an unholy communion on the priest by making the priest eat of Pinhead’s flesh and blood.

Some people may find this scene out of place since up until now the Hellraiser movies have been more ambiguous about specific faiths and it isn’t even known whether or not the puzzle box “hell” is Biblical Hell or just some other plane of existence. Either way, it’s mainly meant for shock value to those who might find religious mockery or desecration to be bad.

Joey bolts from the church and winds up at a nearby construction site where she gets cornered by Pinhead and the other Cenobites, including Cenobite J.P. and Terri, how fun for them! Joey is able to trigger the box to dispel the Cenobites and afterwards again finds herself in the dreamlike state where she sees her father. Or is it her father? Nope! It’s tricky ole Pinhead and he tricks Joey into handing him the box. Joey is still able to control the scene though and change the Vietnam backdrop to bring them all into Spencer’s Quonset hut once again. In order to finally stop Pinhead, Spencer has to re-merge with his evil aspect giving Joey a chance to recapture the box and trap the evil inside once again.

Finally…

Once the threat has been resolved Joey finds that she is back at the construction site and buries the box in cement to keep it from seeing the light of day. Afterwards we fast forward to see that the completed building with a sculpture outside and a lobby design that look identical to the designs on the outside of the puzzle box.

Overall…

Well sequels start to get a little hinky after two and this one is no exception. It is okay and worth a watch in the context of the first two but the franchise is already showing its wear at this point. At least they haven’t gone into space… yet…

A couple of WTF moments that stand out to me:

The priest who initially tries to tell Joey that demons aren’t real (her reply is hilarious)

When Joey gets tricked into handing over the box to Pinhead she says something like “that’s not fair” HAHAHA!

Hellraiser III has some decent gore, not any real nudity, some blasphemous (to some) imagery.

-Rabid Fox

Hellraiser 4: Bloodline -review by Rabid Fox

 

Well it was only a matter of time before the Hellraiser franchise took its place among the stars.

Now Pinhead can trade space stories with Jason Voorhees, the Leprechaun, and the Critters. And while this sequel wasn’t that bad, I mean it was directed by Hollywood legend Alan fucking Smithee, I know that there are 5 direct-to-video sequels AFTER this one still waiting for me. So we’re already in space and there are FIVE more fucking sequels after this one. I’m assuming that any attempt at canon is out the air locks after part four but we’ll see. I have to get through this review first…

In the future…

Part IV starts in the future, on a space station designed by Paul Merchant. Merchant is using a robotic interface to manipulate the infamous puzzle box and when he succeeds in opening the box the robot is immediately destroyed. Before Merchant can continue whatever he’s up to he is stopped by armed security forces that come aboard.

They are trying to arrest Merchant for hijacking the station and moving it out of its assigned orbit. Merchant uses the story of his family’s history to attempt to explain why he needs the use of the station.

In the past…

In 18^th century France popular toymaker Phillip Lemarchand is finishing a work commissioned by the aristocrat Duc de L’Isle – the puzzle box. Duc de L’Isle is steeped in black arts and he wants to use the box in a ritual to summon and trap a demon.

He and his assistant Jacques abduct a peasant girl, kill her and skin her, then drape the skin over the summoning circle. As de L’Isle continues his ritual we see the skin begin to take shape again and Angelique the demon now has a new home with de L’Isle as her “master”. Angelique agrees so long as de L’Isle doesn’t stand “in Hell’s way” but it seems like she’s probably just playing along.

However, since de L’Isle is too eager to get his ritual going, he doesn’t bother to wait until Lemarchand is a good distance away and the toymaker peeks in through the windows and sees the whole thing. Horrified at having contributed to such evil, Lemarchand runs home to attempt to work on another box that would have the power to contain or destroy demons. While Lemarchand continues his work, Angelique seems to quickly be tiring of de L’Isle so she seduces Jacques and murders de L’Isle. As Lemarchand finishes his box configuration that would stop evil he also attempts to sneak back into de L’Isle’s house to steal back the original box. Lemarchand finds the corpse of de L’Isle and the murderous duo Jacques and Angelique who tell Lemarchand that his bloodline is cursed for his part in the evil ritual and then Lemarchand is also killed. But his family lives on…

In the “present”…

Moving ahead a couple of centuries we see that Angelique and Jacques are still kicking around doing whatever apparently immortal beings do. The present day descendant of Lemarchand, John Merchant, is an architect in the U.S. who is being awarded for the building that just happens to be the one from the end of Part III, the one whose looks are inspired by the puzzle box. So that bit of recognition happens to catch the attention of the evil duo. Angelique wants to see the new Mr. Merchant and see if she can use her demonic feminine wiles to make Merchant do her bidding. Jacques doesn’t really want to bother with the whole thing, or maybe he just doesn’t want to get ditched, but since he’s standing in Hell’s way Angelique finally dispatches him.

Back in the states, Angelique does her best to get it on with John Merchant and find the box. Despite his having a wife and family he isn’t strong enough to avoid temptation.

I mean it is demonic temptation so he should get a pass, right? Angelique also finds the box in the basement of Merchant’s building and manages to bring Pinhead back. The two demons conspire to force Merchant into designing a portal between the “real” world and their dimension so that they don’t have to bother with the stupid puzzle box anymore. There’s also a demon hound or something but I found it to be too stupid to warrant any further writing.

Merchant sure isn’t eager to help a temptress and a guy with pins coming out of his face but they kidnap his son for leverage. Fortunately, the Lemarchand blood means that Merchant also has the insight into how to design that trap that his ancestor failed to accomplish so he tries to play along with the Cenobites in hopes of luring them into that same trap (only more elaborate now because it’s not the crappy 18^th century). Pinhead gets wise to the trick though and beheads Merchant. Merchant’s wife, however, came across the box and was able to use it to banish Pinhead and Angelique once again… for a while anyway…

Back in the future…

So space station Merchant has finished telling his story up to that point and notes that he had used the robot to open the box bringing out Pinhead and company but the security showed up before he was able to finish his task. So all that time the Cenobites have been on the station and now they make their presence known by totally fucking up all the security folks.

Merchant and the main security guard take off since the guard finally realizes that Merchant isn’t full of crap. Merchant has also setup a holographic decoy to trick Pinhead and escape the station. Silly Pinhead, I guess they don’t have high tech gadgets of trickery in the hell dimension.

Speaking of high tech trickery, the entire space station, designed by Merchant, is a giant set of mirrors setup with the old Lemerchand configuration that is meant to trap and destroy the demons. So in this last moment we have what appears to be the end of Pinhead and company.

Overall…

Not as bad as I was expecting all things considered but it wasn’t quite “there”. I’m curious to see that the director’s cut (or cuts) would have done differently had he been allowed to see it through (and not fork over director’s credit to A. Smithee). So there is some blood and gore, the summoning of Angelique at the beginning is probably my favorite moment.

All in all, even though it’s “the space one” it actually has some stuff going for it including the origin of the puzzle box, but it doesn’t quite live up to the originals.

-Rabid Fox

Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) -review by Rabid Fox

 

Texas Chainsaw (2013)

I’m usually hesitant to check out sequels, especially ones that occur years or decades after the original. I’d seen the reboot Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the prequel to the reboot, and though they were okay, I didn’t think they were as good as the original Tobe Hooper TCM. This 2013 flick was a direct sequel to that original Hooper film and I was surprised to end up enjoying this sequel.

In the beginning…

The opening credits provide a quick recap of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre all the way up to the iconic escape by the lone survivor (um, spoilers I guess?) and the classic image of Leatherface waving his chainsaw around.

                    Chainsaw light saber

The sequel opens immediately after, with the survivor recounting her horrific experience to local Texas police. After hearing about the tragedy, a local posse decides they’ve let the weird Sawyer clan go about their creepy ways for too long and decide to enact some vigilante justice by burning down the residence.

The Sawyer family that inhabits that house of horrors has a brief and bloody shoot-out with the posse that doesn’t end well for the family.

The scene recalls some of the imagery from Rob Zombie’s Devil’s Rejects and the scene even uses the ever-excellent Bill Moseley to portray one of the original TCM cast AND we see Gunnar Hansen (the original Leatherface) make a cameo in that showdown scene as well!

 

As the house burns down, the posse rummages through the wreckage of the house to ensure there are no survivors; one of the group members, Gavin, comes across a surviving Sawyer family woman and her infant daughter. Gavin kills the mother and picks up the baby, bringing her to his wife who is excited to have and raise a baby of her own.

Cut to…

Years later and the little girl, Heather, is working as a meat cutter at a grocery store and we’re quickly introduced to her boyfriend, Heather’s slutty girlfriend who has eyes on the boyfriend, and a couple of other friends who are planning a road trip to New Orleans – fun!

As Heather is making travel plans she is contacted about the death of a grandmother in Texas she never knew existed and this also clues her in to being adopted.

The grandmother has left her a sizable estate and Heather asks to detour the group’s trip so she can claim the inheritance.

Along the way they also pick up a nice-looking, charming hitchhiker who asks for a lift to Louisiana. Then the group arrives at baller Texas mansion. So here’s where most people would be like “hey, I guess finding out I was adopted ain’t so bad, look at this awesome mansion I get as a prize!” Don’t worry, I was thinking the same thing and I knew what movie I was watching.

So the group looks over the house and finds that it is awesome.

Heather gets a big bunch of keys to the place and they come across a mysterious locked door tucked away from everything else. They take a break from rummaging to go to town and stock up on some necessities. The nice-guy hitchhiker convinces them that he should stay back at the house because, charming smile. So that works and he immediately grabs the big set of keys to start ransacking the place. But he also knows there must be treasure hidden behind that super secret door so he heads there for his big payday.

Well payday he shall receive because behind that door is the other survivor of the house burning/massacre from the original film: Jed Sawyer aka Leatherface. PAYDAY (i.e. bashed in the head)!

Meanwhile, in town, the rest of the group (well mainly Heather because she’s hot) catches the attention of the mayor and police, some of whom were part of the original house-burning posse and one of whom is just a young, good-looking, nice guy (because that worked out so well with the hitchhiker).

So the group comes back to the house, see that it’s been picked over by their hitchhiker buddy and decide he must have moved on. One of the guys goes to start dinner while Heather goes poking around the house again. The guy finds his way down to Leatherface’s bedroom and sees that the hitchhiker didn’t make it out after all.

Meat hook, chainsaw, lots of cool blood and guts = Texas justice and one less “main group” member. Heather also stumbles on a corpse upstairs (grandma?) and runs out in a panic. This doesn’t go unnoticed by chainsaw man who then turns his attention to the young and bouncy.

She makes her way to the family cemetery and tries hiding among the tombstones and even tries hiding in a fresh grave; clever, but not too clever for Leatherface, who begins sawing down towards her in a view that was clearly meant for the 3D release of this film.

Now remember when I referred to Heather’s friend as slutty and into Heather’s boyfriend? Well good for you for paying attention! Here’s where that becomes relevant: while Heather is being hunted in the graveyard and on the brink of being chainsaw-ed in the face, we see that the slutty friend has stripped down and cornered the boyfriend in the nearby barn, an offer he couldn’t refuse.

So, post coitus I’m pretty sure, they hear the sound of screams and chainsaws so they come running out to help, distracting Jed and allowing Heather to make a break for it.

They non-killers that are still alive manage to make it to their van and they try to make a break for it. They go speeding up to the closed gate that helps keep out the riffraff and since there’s no time to stop and enter the gate code, Mr. cheating boyfriend/driver decides to crash the gate because that’s what everyone in TV and movies does. But the driver is black and this is Texas so I assume the gate is racist and therefore the van crashes into, but not through, the gate. Hahaha! Wasn’t expecting that. So now they have to get the gate open which gives Leatherface time to catch up just in time for them to drive off but also giving him a chance to slash through one of the tires. He isn’t letting these people drive off, he lived through that humiliation once dammit! So now the van flips and crashes, driver is now dead,  slutty friend unconscious and assumed dead, Heather, not dead, runs into the woods and comes across a county fair going on (oh yeah the fair was mentioned in passing earlier).

 

So a chainsaw-wielding dude strolls through the fair unnoticed… oh wait, no, the cops see it, call it in, and now they know that Jed survived the original fire.

 

Somehow, not really important, Heather gets to the cops and Leatherface disappears back to the house.

Heather describes her ordeal to the cops, including the Sheriff and Mayor, who were at the family massacre years earlier, and they have a heated debate about how to proceed. The Mayor orders one of the cops to enter the house and track down and kill Jed, Hilarity ensues, including one of the more pleasantly surprising deaths in the movie (I won’t spoil it for you but I was pretty surprised!). So while the officer is checking out the house… by himself… like an idiot, Heather is left in an interview room while the Sheriff and Mayor are using Face-time to see what the lonely police officer is seeing inside the house. In the waiting room with Heather is an evidence box containing all of the information related to the incidents at the Sawyer house and what the posse and, more importantly her adoptive parents, did to Heather’s family. Heather sneaks out of the police station and runs into the young, good-looking cop from earlier. Remember how that didn’t work out so well before? Well it doesn’t work out well this time either. The cop ends up taking Heather to an old slaughter house to help bait Leatherface into showing up.

Everyone (Sheriff, Mayor, pretty boy cop, Jed, and Heather) all converge on the slaughterhouse and the climax of the film is another showdown where they try to kill the killer. Lots of gruesome footage here and a neat ending that may surprise some.

Gore:

Plenty of good stuff. Hooks and chainsaws and whatnot.

Sex:

Only implied. There’s no hot nudity, just some good-lookin’ scantily clad people.

All in all…

A much better sequel than I had anticipated, Texas Chainsaw was fun, had some great gory effects and even a few genuine, non-jump scare, surprises.

– Rabid Fox

Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 review by Rabid Fox

Hellbound: Hellraiser II

Story:

This film picks up right after the events in the first film. There’s a brief aside/flashback that shows us the human origin of Hellraiser’s signature monster – Pinhead – but I’ll get back to that later. The film properly opens with Kirsty (the survivor from the first film) in a psychiatric institute due to the traumas of part I which include, but are not limited to, being hit on by a salacious uncle who happens to be wearing her father’s skin, and being stalked by creatures from Hell bent on dragging her down for an eternity of sado-masochistic “delights”.

So I guess some people might not have the mental fortitude to take that in stride and carry on with their lives.

Kirsty is made to recount her tale to the police and the psychiatrists and while tales of Cenobites and puzzle boxes and the dead coming back to life don’t really mean much to the cops, the psychiatrist Dr. Channard is intrigued. Channard’s assistant Kyle is also interested in Kirsty but not because of her batshit crazy story (wink, wink). Dr. Channard takes possession of the bloody mattress found at the house from the first movie and raises the suspicions of Kyle who decides to do some snooping.

He finds in Dr. Channard’s study a whole slew of creepy items including several puzzle boxes and other paraphernalia that would indicate that even if Kirsty’s story were b.s. someone else believes in it too.

Kyle witnesses Dr. Channard offering up one of the mental patients as a sacrifice to the bloody mattress which, as it turns out, is a great portal for Julia (Kirsty’s wicked stepmother) to return from Hell.

There’s a lot of creepy eroticism between Channard and the skinless, but no-less seductive, Julia and a good montage of victims being sacrificed to bring Julia back to full form (similar to how she sacrificed people to bring Frank back in the first film).

While all this is going on, Kirsty is having visions where she thinks her father is begging for help to escape from Hell. She befriends another patient (Tiffany) who, lucky for everyone, is a puzzle-solving savant.

The Kirsty and Julia stories converge when the puzzle box is used to take us back to the magical land of Puzzle Box Hell. Julia didn’t really need to convince Channard that he wanted to visit, he was pretty much primed from the get go. And Kirsty took the opening as an excuse to try to find and rescue her father. It’s pretty much just Tiffany that has no interest in going to Hell (go figure) and just wants to sit in her semi-catatonic state and solve puzzles. Is that too much to ask for? Yep!

Now we get to see who has been manipulated this whole time and by whom:

– Channard: even though he really wanted to see what the mystery of the box was all about, he’s been offered up as a sacrifice by Julia in a move that should surprise no one.

– Kirsty: actually, sort of a surprise but a neat payoff. Turns out that lecherous old uncle Frank has been using Kirsty to try to get himself back out of the box again.

Now why all the manipulation?

Julia: in a great bit of character evolution, Julia has been transformed from lustful temptress to full-on religious zealot. She’s now a follower of Leviathan, the dark “god” at the center of Puzzle Box Hell. She’s out farming for souls and Channard is a great offering.

Frank: this is pretty much just Frank being Frank. Hell-box sucks and Frank wants out. Frank is the one-trick pony of Hellraiser.

So now we see Channard converted into Cenobite (and boy howdy does he love that new role!) and for some reason he thinks it necessary to kick the other Cenobites’ asses and assert himself as the new leader. Maybe Hell is like prison and the new guy just needs to take on the biggest guy so nobody else will fuck with him? Either way, we get Pinhead versus Channard as a nice little break from the rest of the film’s goings on.

And that gives us a chance to discuss a side item. In the first film we’re meant to think that Cenobites are a species of their own, hellspawn that have always been and always shall be. Pinhead even comments in this one that the Cenobites are some otherworldly creatures. It’s Kirsty that convinces them that they were once people and as they realize that we get to see our Cenobite pals revert (at least for now) to their previous human forms which gives everyone else a chance to run off and attend to their affairs (i.e. getting out of the box).

The end wraps up nicely, with devils getting their due and the good “guys” getting to keep their souls for now.

Random thoughts:

I love the Julia character! Her arc really continues strongly in this one and I love her line about going from wicked step mother to evil queen. Well done, ma’am.

The Channard character really deserves his trip to the box. There’s a great shot where you see his schizoid patients all bed-bound and working out all this other collected boxes. Brilliant! This guy is an evil bastard worthy of the series.

Cenobites are people… PEOPLE! I thought I would be irked by this but it’s actually not a terrible idea. I would liken it to angels; do “good” people who die become angels or just dead spirits with wings? There were angels before people so maybe there are “real” Cenobites and then these post-human entities as well. It’s a big universe so maybe they can shed some light on it one day.

I enjoyed that Tiffany and, to a lesser extent, Kirsty, actually got better after going to Hell 🙂

All in all this was a pretty good follow-up to the first film!

Rating 4 out of 5

-Rabid Fox

Second Opinion:

I had to chime in since this, like Hellraiser, is one of my favorite movies. Hellbound also does a great job through montages reminds us what we saw in the first film. Hellbound especially shows some of the best scenes from Hellraise like Julia’s husband Larry getting torn apart.

Hellbound is also extremely gory. Make sure you seen the Unrated version. The R rated version has some of the gore cut out. Two scenes in particular are Channard’s transformation into a Cenobite and Channard’s going a bad doctor on his patients in the psych ward. It’s brutal, he rips them apart, for me that is part of the terror of Hellbound. I remember as a teen, pre-CGI, cringing at some of those scenes. That was back before I was desensitized, but wow I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I first saw Hellbound. Just like I remember where and what I was doing when the first plane flew into tower 1 of the World Trade Center. Channard’s transformation branded into my longterm memory. This film had quite the impact on me back in the day. Hellraiser: Hellbound II is a nostalgic film for me. I would give Hellbound 5 stabs. I’ll acquiesce and we’ll give it a 4 stab, Highly Recommended. I would say HH2 is a MUST SEE, but chances are you already have. I hope you enjoyed Fox’s review because he brought out some fantastic plot points. This is why Hellbound is such a great squeal. It takes great elements from the first film and brings them back in a great way and further explores the story and Clive Barker’s mythology. This unfortunately is where some of the later Hellraiser sequels fall short (where Pinhead only makes cameos).

Really, if you like the Hellraiser Mythos the comics are a great place to go as well. The comic series is great. I only recently read some of them. What I saw was really cool.

-The Director.

Gallowwalkers (2012) review by the Rabid Fox

Let’s see if I can sum this up in a 90 seconds to help you avoid wasting 90 minutes of your precious life.

Gallowwalkers stars Wesley “Blade” Snipes in a movie that has all the ingredients of an interesting movie (supernatural western, people coming back from the dead, Wesley Snipes looking like a badass) but cooked by someone who has never stepped foot in a kitchen.

Many of the plot reveals are elements that should have been introduced much earlier (like, right away) to help better set the stage but by the time you are clued in to some of the goings on it is just too late to care. For example, it is revealed that anyone Snipes’ character kills comes back to life; the resurrected continue to rot (at least on the outside) so they have to keep getting new skins.

Unfortunately that rule only seems to apply to the bad guys.

If you’re wondering why that is don’t go looking for answers in this film. And if you want to see Snipes look and act like a badass in a supernatural film just go watch Blade.

1.5 of ouf 5

-Rabid Fox

Tales from the Hood review by Rabid Fox

Anthology of Interest* Part I: Tales from the Hood (1995)

 

*Yes, this title has been cribbed from Futurama.

The Frame: A trio of young gang members shows up at Simms Funeral Home looking for a stash of drugs. As the eccentric Mr. Simms leads the guys through the funeral home to the drug stash, he shares stories about some of his recent “guests”.

1. Rogue Cop Revelation 

A group of corrupt cops murder a local black politician/anti-corruption activist and plant drugs on the body to help discredit and tarnish the memory of the victim. A rookie black cop who was also on the scene and witnessed the brutality ends up washed out and guilt-ridden from not standing up to his colleagues. The now former cop has a vision of the victim who beckons “bring them to me.” The corrupt cops and the washed out former cop return to the victim’s grave on the anniversary of his murder. The victim emerges from the grave to take bloody revenge on the cops. This tale ends with the washed out cop in a mental ward having been blamed for the murder of the other cops.

2. Boys Do Get Bruised

A little boy named Walter shows up to school with bruises one day, blaming it on a “monster”. His concerned teacher keeps an eye on things and notices more bruises. Meanwhile, one day Walter, afraid of a class bully, stays in rather than going to the playground with the rest of the class and draws a picture of said bully; when Walter crumples up the picture the bully collapses in pain (huzzah!). After continued strange behaviors, the concerned teacher goes to Walter’s house to chat with the mom. During the visit, mom’s boyfriend comes home and loses his shit. Turns out he’s the “monster” and he starts beating up on everyone. Thankfully, mom knows about Walter’s little gift and encourages him to use it. Mr. Monster gets a portrait which gets quickly crumpled, smashed and burned by Walter. Bye bye Mr. Monster 🙂

3. KKK Comeuppance

A southern politician Duke Metger (likely fashioned after David Duke – Klan ties and all) has the ire of many local groups due to his racist history and his ballsy decision to put his office in an old slave plantation. The plantation is also home to a large portrait of a former slave (and voodoo aficionado) and her dolls. The dolls come out of the painting one by one, treating Metger’s associates (and Metger at the last) to grisly deaths.

4. Hard-core Convert

This is an interesting story about a gang banger, Crazy K, who gets shot after an altercation with some rival gang members. As the cops arrive on scene they take out all the gang members. K, however, survives the shooting only to get arrested and sentenced to life. He gets transferred to a special treatment area where the attendees put Crazy K through some intense treatments to try to elicit compassion/remorse from the killer for all his previous crimes, especially the black-on-black crimes. There’s some intense imagery and K is told that he’s no better than Klansmen or other white-on-black criminals and that the black community cannot survive if this type of crime continues. A remorseless K then finds himself back on the street right after being shot. He dies having passed up his chance at redemption.

End Frame: This is basically the cherry on top for this anthology sundae. I don’t wanna give up all the goodies for you!

Overall: I love horror anthologies! This movie’s title was clever to give a nod to other famous anthologies/series like Tales from the Darkside and Tales from the Crypt. Hood also has plenty of socially-relevant messages for the time it was made, continuing the conversation from more serious films like Do the Right Thing and Boyz n the Hood. Rod Serling, George Romero, and others have also shown that Horror is actually a great forum for social commentary even (or especially) hot topics like racism and bigotry. If you like your blood and gore to have heart/substance you certainly can’t go wrong here!

-Rabid Fox

 

The Shrine (2010) -review by Rabid Fox

Overview: A journalist, her photographer boyfriend, and her 3rd wheel intern, travel to Poland to investigate mysterious disappearances linked to a remote village. The trio uncover a creepy sect that are not happy to have anyone nosing around their business. Horrific times ensue.

Impressions: The opening scene shows a man strapped to some sort of altar and someone using a heavy hammer to smash a metal-spiked plate into the victim’s face. Great start but I expected that the movie might end up like Hostel, just some “Americans in a strange land” torture porn. I was surprised that there was more to offer! The village is positioned near a wooded area covered in perpetual fog. In that fog, the journalist finds a creepy demonic statue that appears to follow her gaze and hold a beating heart in its clutches. Also, in addition to the “suspicious of outsiders” villagers, we also catch a glimpse of a man in some religious garb who acts very hostile towards the outsiders. The token friendly villager in this film is a little girl who tries to help the trio find out what happened to the missing travelers but ends up getting them into deep shit. I don’t want to give too much away but the film takes a great supernatural turn and the creepy cultists get to have some refreshing depth.

-Rabid Fox

Pumpkinhead review by Rabid Fox

 

Pumpkinhead (1988)

Overview:

Rural store owner and loving father Ed Harley loses his son in a tragic accident. He seeks a reclusive old woman to summon a demon that Harley recalls from his childhood to take revenge on the people that he holds responsible for his son’s death.

The Breakdown:

So there’s a movie with a hydrocephalic-skulled monster and Lance Henriksen and it’s not Aliens? Yes, I was intrigued too. This movie opens on a stormy night and a cabin in the woods. A panic-stricken man is pounding on the door of the Harley family’s cabin door desperate for the family to let him in. It’s clear that there is a monster after him and although we don’t know why, but we do know that there’s no way Mr. Harley is opening his door. Young Ed Harley looks out his bedroom window and sees the monster dragging his prey off into the woods.

Cut to years later and Ed Harley is a man grown. He is working his land and caring for his son and the interaction between the two is sweet – Ed Harley is a good and loving father. We see that Ed is also the owner/operator of a small rural general store and he’s about to get some visitors. A group of ambiguously-aged persons (they look like 20-somethings but this is an 80s movie so they could be trying to pass for high schoolers, college kids, or retirees) who I’ll call “kids”, are on a roadtrip to do some back-country dirt biking and cabin-staying. If the ambiguous age of the “kids” didn’t give away the 80s-ness of this movie their dirt bike fetish certainly would. The “kids” stop off at Harley’s general store and we get a quick breakdown of the group dynamics. There’s one stereotypical bad boy who likes to push his girlfriend around and is generally pretty physically and verbally abusive to his buddies. But he has a leather jacket, rides dirt bikes, and drinks and drives, so clearly this guy’s got what it takes to attract followers. The other “kids” seem decent other than their choice to hang out with Leather Jacket (as he will be referred to from here on out).

As soon as the “kids” arrive at Harley’s general store, Leather Jacket immediately shit-talks Ed’s little boy for wearing thick “coke bottle” glasses much to the chagrin of everyone around, including Ed Harley. Soon after, Ed is called away on a quick delivery and leaves junior at the store. For some reason Leather Jacket and one of his pals decides to start dirt biking right near the general store instead of waiting until they got to their cabin. The Harley’s dog, Gypsy (yes, it’s way more important to remember the dog’s name and no, I will not refer to any of the “kids” by their character names) doesn’t like the bikers or their dirt bike noises or their dirt bike ways (smart dog!) and goes chasing after them. The young Harley goes chasing after Gypsy and accidentally gets trampled under Leather Jacket’s dirt bike.

The “kids” are panicked but decide they should stay with the boy and explain to Ed that the whole thing was an accident. However, Leather Jacket has priors (because he’s a badass, remember?) so he bullies most of his friends into running away and hiding up in their cabin. One of the friends, let’s call him Nice Guy, decides to stay behind with junior until Ed comes back. As you might imagine, Ed does not take the news of the accident lightly. He gives Nice Guy a death stare and then bundles up junior to take… home? I guess the hospital is nowhere nearby so junior dies in Ed’s arms. Grief-stricken, Ed goes looking around for a special someone that lives in the woods and might be able to bring his boy back. Let’s just call this special someone the Woods Witch for lack of a better term.

So Ed Harley takes his son’s body to the Woods Witch who (is awesome!) immediately tells Ed that she doesn’t have the power to bring the boy back to life. When Ed presses her about his need for revenge, however, she notes that she can summon a demon of vengeance colloquially known as Pumpkinhead. A little grave-digging and a little of Ed and junior’s blood mixed together with some alakazam and Pumpkinhead arrives and the work of settling Ed’s score. Now what’s interesting here is that the demon is indiscriminate in his killing of the cabin-goers. That’s a little surprising since most of the “kids” are actually pretty nice and there’s even one who we see is very religious, usually in horror movies at least some of the nice ones live. Not so much here…In another interesting move, due to the blood used in the summoning ceremony, Ed and the demon are connected. As Pumpkinhead continues his killing spree we also see Ed becoming more connected to the monster, even taking on some of the demon’s attributes; only then does Ed Harley realize he’s made a devil’s bargain with the Woods Witch. As Ed struggles to stop Pumpkinhead and attempt to save himself, he comes to realize that he and the demon are too connected and that the only way the monster can be defeated is if Ed is also taken out. He relies on the sole surviving “kid” to help him out with that.

Final Analysis:

I really enjoyed this movie so don’t let the fact that I don’t really spend any effort trying to remember most of the characters’ names throw you off. The film does a great job of quickly endearing you to Ed and his son (and Gypsy!) and the story of the monster is pretty entertaining; I like that Pumpkinhead is just the name that the locals give to the demon due to its giant head and the fact that it rests in a creepy pumpkin patch. The Woods Witch is also a great character and her abode is oozing with creepy charm. All in all a very enjoyable watch, just leave your dirt bikes outside and your leather jackets at the door.

        Rating 4 out of 5

-The Rabid Fox

Absentia reviewed by Rabid Fox

 

Overview: This film opens with main character Tricia pulling down old, weathered missing person flyers and replacing them with crisp new copies. Early on we find out that Tricia’s husband Daniel has been missing for seven years which is the time required for him to be declared legally dead in absentia. Tricia’s sister Callie comes to help support her big sister (big and prego btw, someone call Springer!) through the ordeal. Throughout the film Tricia is trying to cope with Daniel’s disappearance but is haunted by nightmarish images of the missing husband. Meanwhile, Callie begins to learn that a nearby tunnel used by joggers may be linked to many, many more disappearances. As Callie uncovers more evidence of sinister forces at work, the mysterious “something” starts to pay her special attention.

Impressions: What I like best about Absentia, without giving too much away (while spoil the fun?), is that this movie has a great emotional core. I found the opener with the “missing person” flyers to be very somber and helped me connect with Tricia’s mindset right away. Furthermore, every character is trapped in some sort of limbo. Tricia cannot really move on; even the death certificate in absentia doesn’t provide real closure. Tricia’s baby-daddy, the nice, well-meaning police officer, is stuck in emotional limbo because of Tricia’s situation. Callie is in addiction/recovery limbo, is also affected by Tricia’s situation, and gets drawn into and obsessed with the mysterious disappearance of Daniel and the others. Even Daniel’s parents show up in one brief but powerful scene and we’re given a glimpse of their ongoing pain at not knowing what has become of their son. And as for Daniel, well… you’ll see…

While there are some genuine scares in the film , the Daniel “apparition/hallucination” is creepy without succumbing to the “jump scare” trope, we are also, through much of the movie, left wondering if the events are indeed supernatural or just Tricia’s grief-stricken imaginings and Callie’s drug and alcohol-driven hallucinations. The real horror of Absentia comes after the fate of all the characters is revealed and you’ve had time to really let the situation sink in.

Other tidbits: Genre fans will enjoy a cameo performance by Doug Jones.(of Hellboy and “just about everything nowadays” fame). Also, this was a really good work especially given the relatively low (and Kickstarted!) budget.
Rating: 3 out of 5 for the slow, horrifying reveal.

-Rabid Fox

Hellraiser reviewed by Rabid Fox

   1987 Written and Directed by Clive Barker

This is a movie that hooks you right from the beginning (yeah, you see where this is going).

A shadowy Asian merchant (taking a break from selling Mogwai?) peddles his wares to an extreme pleasure-seeker, Frank. Frank’s hedonistic tendencies have led him to a puzzle box that unlocks a gateway to Hell (or some dimension of Lovecraftian horror) where beings called Cenobites inflict exquisite pain. Frank discovers the secrets (well, not so secret) of the box and gets a one-way ticket (sorta) to S&M heaven.

Frank’s brother (Larry) and sister-in-law (Julia) decide to move into Frank’s house after said bro has been missing for some time. A quick shot of Larry and Julia putting all the house’s religious objects out to the curb may provide a clue as to how things are going to fare for the new tenants.

It’s not long before we’re treated to a nice flashback scene that shows us Frank and Julia’s first encounter and what I would call the “Sexual Awakening of Julia” montage that ends up paying off in spades for Frank later. While unpacking, Larry gets a deep cut on his hand and runs to Julia for help. Larry, it appears, is a puss and can’t stand the sight of his own blood. As he’s portrayed early on, it seems that Larry should be hanging out as sitcom dad or getting into shenanigans with Steve Guttenberg (this is the 80s after all). But not here in demonic S&M land! Fortunately for us horror aficionados, Larry is a gusher and bleed all over the floor in Frank’s old sex/adventure room which also ends up paying gangbusters for Frank. Turns out the trickle of blood reawakens Frank’s heart which was stuck under the floorboards for some reason (a little Poe imagery for you literary types).

The scene in where Frank reveals his rotted fleshless form to Julia showcases a great use of makeup and practical effects, great for the gore lover! And we also find out that Frank has somehow escaped the Cenobites. Frank explains to Julia that he needs more blood so that he can return to his pre-Hell self and they can then live happily ever after. I guess the demonic leather daddies can’t touch him after he’s back to his old self?

Luckily for the audience, Julia has legitimate moments of doubt where she struggles with the decision to help Frank. Frank is definitely a manipulator but he spends half the movie skinless, and what he’s oozing ain’t charm, so maybe he brought back a little Cenobite Fly with him from the pit? Julia does decide that she’s willing to help (wouldn’t be much of a movie if she didn’t) and again, we’re treated to a series of scenes that encompass the “Corruption of Julia” where we get to see her trolling the bars looking for some fresh meat to bring home to Frank. We get a beautiful moment where a blood-spattered Julia, channeling a little Lady Macbeth, tries washing clean her bloody hands and then a final “break” where you can literally see her take that final step onto the road of damnation. That might be my favorite part of this whole movie. Yes, the story is interesting, the monsters are unique, the gore is superb, but a lot of “bad guys” in horror movies don’t get much opportunity to struggle with the decision to do bad things.

During all of this we’re also stuck with a B plot involving Larry’s daughter Kirsty. Nobody needs to care about Kirsty until she stumbles upon Julia and Frank bludgeoning another poor schmoe (or bar perv if you prefer). Then Kirsty becomes the catalyst for the rest of the film. Turns out Frank is very aware of his niece’s blossoming and I’m sure a little family loving isn’t outside the realm of thought for someone that’s literally been torn to pieces by hellspawn to satisfy his cravings.

Kirsty manages to run away with the magical puzzle box and immediately gets it to open, which introduces her to the Cenobites who still have no fucking clue that Frank had escaped (I guess all slop piles of human remains start to look alike after a while). Anyway, as I mentioned at the beginning, the box is pretty much the least puzzling puzzle ever because you pretty much just have to sneeze in it’s direction to open the fucker; I guess if the portal to Hell was a Rubik’s cube the Cenobites would never have any fun though, right? Also, the “rule” of the box is that if you open it you are stuck with the ‘Bites so for innocent (well, 80s innocent) Kirsty that sucks and she makes a deal to trade them Frank in exchange for her salvation.

The rest of the film wraps up nicely (for us, not the shit-out-of-luck characters), with some great horrific moments and, again, great use of practical effects. Even the few 80’s CG effects are used so sparingly that you don’t immediately go “oh look, shitty 80’s graphics”. This is definitely a “must see” for any horror fan and the attention to detail, story, and character development (at least for Julia) are far too rare in newer movies. I’m sure that those qualities were due in large, if not full, part to the fact that Clive Barker wrote and directed this film based on his own short story The Hellbound Heart. Kudos!

Question to ponder after repeat viewings:

– Is there a phase in Frank’s “rebirth” where he might consider “eh, this is good enough”? Consider how much pain he’d be in all the time if he was just a bundle of raw, exposes nerves. Sounds like paradise!

-Rabid Fox