Cannibal (2006)-opinion by Chae

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“An internet advertisement placed by a man with a cannibalistic obsession brings yields a willing victim to serve up his own flesh in this dramatic account of the crime that shocked the world.”-IMDB

Lots of nudity and disturbing gore.
Homosexual overtones.

-Chae

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Cannibal Holocaust reviewed by Das Director

      Cannibal Holocaust

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The Rep:

Banned in multiple countries! The alleged most controversial movie ever made. The film crew was arrested after production. PETA advocates are foaming at the mouth in disgust. Is this real cannibalism? Will I see naked natives eating human flesh? Perhaps you’ve seen the pictures.

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Is it all shock and hype or is there a good movie buried under all this fluff?

Let’s get out the fork and knife: 

cannibal holocaust-1Ok, ok, so what is this shocker about? Four asshole adventurous film makers head off in the deep Amazonian jungle. Three fucktard dudes and one immodest chick in search of a lost cannibal tribe still around in this modern age.

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Referred to as the green inferno for good reason, the amazon is a suffocatingly hot and dangerous place. It’s not really an exaggeration to say everything and everyone is trying to kill each other. If it can’t kill them, they kill it.

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Our fearless quartet of film makers never return from the jungle. Did they find the cannibals they were looking for? A doctor of anthropology wants to find out.

He finds a couple really cool guides to lead him into cannibal country.

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They expose him to various stone age tribes, animal cruelty, and some tangy native hairy gash. The guide reminds me exactly of Sid Haig in the Big Doll House. The guide uses cocaine, which is totally easy to get in the inferno I assume, to control the cannibal guide to lead them to his crew. Of course he also snorts a little himself all bad ass, off a buck knife blade.

The Doctor eventually finds the film cans lost from the four ass clown explorers. Trading the film cans for some shit like a watch and gold plated lighter the doctor skips back to the big city to enjoy some serious amateur cannibal exploitation films.

The group of professionals including the doctor, a lawyer, some TV executives, sit back and it’s show time. Here begins the second movie. Cannibal Holocaust is really a film within a film. The second movie is the lost film footage shot by the four douche bag film makers. Keep in mind this was done decades before Blair Witch or Cloverland made a movie appear to be shot by the actors. I have to give Cannibal holocaust major props for originality.

The Group shoots plenty of film of each other being cocky, constantly making dumb ass jokes, and mocking everyone. I never found myself endeared to them. As they trek along and come across various tribes they to go mysteriously fucking bananas. The heat, the jungle, the images they have seen, the isolation, frustration, it’s anyone’s guess. They engage in various forms of exploitation, setting villages on fire, gang rape, and other things I’ll leave out. At this point they have made enemies out of the cannibals. Not a smooth move stupid fucks, they should have had some coked up guides with them.

GORE:

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Cannibal Holocaust doesn’t fail to deliver the goods. There is a great deal of graphic violence in the movie. You will see some really gross actual animals death. One word, ‘turtle,’ you have been warned.

The foreign films don’t seem to bother with fake rubber organs, I think these crazy actors are eating real guts. A violent giant stone dildo rape and bashed head. Severed arms, heads, ripped open guts, slimy organs being chewed on, genitals lopped off, skin bit off, you are in the gorezone.

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I am always amazed at these jungle movies. The special effects look amazingly good and these guys had to set up these effects in a horrible atmosphere. Yes, that’s an impressively real looking penis copped off, it’s almost more impressive it was done in the amazon jungle.
Don’t worry about gore, it’s plentiful.

SEX:

We get copious male and female full frontal nudity.

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A voyeuristic soft-core sex scene.

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Two rapes, one is adultery punishment and features a giant stone dildo soaked in blood as it rips apart a hairy native puss. A longer gang rape, if you are a sicko and that tickles your pickle.

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Music: 

Unfortunately the movie had some 1980s funk, keyboard, or disco type music. This dated the movie. That being said there was a theme song. The theme was chilling and you knew when you heard that tune something disturbing was coming. To me that was perfect use of  theme music.

Directing: 

Fantastic job! This is a horrible environment to shoot a movie in and you would never notice as you watched. All the first half of the movie, the footage of the doctor is professional looking, quality film making.

I am amazed at films that are shot first person. It seems like a truly difficult way to tell a story.  It’s done well here. You won’t have any problem. I found these moments in the movie the most engaging. I didn’t want to look away and miss something.

Final Rating:

Cannibal Holocaust really is a great movie. Holocaust means: any mass slaughter or reckless destruction of life. Success was achieved. This is a true horror movie and all fans of the genre should see it, hell, buy a fucking copy. It’s a right of passage.

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The theme of this film seems to be ‘look how awful these stone ages fucks are, and yet modern man is no better.’ Everyone is trying to exploit something from this movie. The Doctor, the TV executives, the daring film makers from the second half, the natives in the jungle, even the production company who produced Cannibal Holocaust. Us for watching it for enjoyment, and on and on. A long chain of exploitation. Don’t get depressed it’s all fiction. Except for that fucking turtle, poor bastard.

              It left me dead….

 -Za DiReCtoR

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