Horror Express -review Lawrence S. Talbot

This is one that’s really slipped through the cracks over the years and there isn’t much of an excuse for it, because it’s in the public domain and readily available for free on the internet or on a variety of cheap, public domain collections that you can find in any number of Wal-Mart bargain bins. However, it’s also for that reason that it’s a real diamond in the rough.

Christopher Lee plays Archaeologist, Professor Alexander Saxton, who discovered a prehistoric ape-man , which may be the famous missing link, frozen in ice. Proud of his discovery, Saxton puts his precious cargo onto a train and plans are made for the exhibition of the groundbreaking discovery. Aboard the train, Saxton meets his professional rival, Doctor Wells, played by the great, Peter Cushing. The frozen creature soon revives and begins killing people aboard the train. When the monster is shot dead, everyone believes the nightmare to be over. However, the victims of the creature soon display eerie blood red eyes and turn homicidal. Saxton and Wells must combine forces in order to get to the root of the creature’s origins and stop the killings.

The film is a take on the the classic Agatha Christie novel, Murder on the Orient Express and replaces the traditional killer with a creature of possible demonic origins. The always wonderful Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee star in this underrated monster movie and give the already spooky offerings a sense of class. The creature’s origins are really interesting and surprisingly seem to draw from John W Campbell’ story, Who Goes there?, which was also the basis for the 1951 science fiction classic, the Thing from another world and its John Carpenter remake from 1982.

The real horror comes from the fact that the characters are isolated on a train, while the creature could really be anyone onboard. The creepy, whistling musical score by John Cacavas is very chilling and you will probably find yourself whistling it after watching the film. Though it’s a Spanish production, it feels like it belongs right alongside one of the British Hammer or Amicus classics that were being produced at around the same time. I really whole heartedy recommend it and since it’s so readily available, what do you have to lose?

-Lawrence S. Talbot

Marble Hornets/Tothearks (YouTube series) -review by Ashley Sinderella

 

Greetings Ghoulies! Have I got a treat for you! This undead lady has stumbled across a unique and wonderful new web series that will drive you mad with intrigue! This web series can be found on youtube.com. Despite it’s extremely low budget it has such a charm it will have you binge watching for hours! I have not finished this series because it is an ongoing series. Believe me you’ll want to get in on this gem right away as they are eighty plus episodes deep not including the Totheark videos.

How to start:

Start watching this series by searching Marble Hornets, go to their you tube and find the first video. I suggest pulling up a new tab and looking up Totheark and opening their you tube page. Make sure to keep up with the posting dates. Marble Hornets is about a young man named Jay who is trying to uncover the mystery of his friend Tim’s unfinished student film Marble Hornets. He soon discovers a world of terror tape by tape. A few months after the original post Totheark starts posting response videos that you will need to read the comments below to decode. Tothearks videos are what really spooks the fuck out of you as you because by this point you know who the ghoulish monster stalking the men is. Believe me you will not be let down, nor will you have seen it coming!

Yes it is low budget but I have never seen anything like this before, this series spans over years! Starting in 2009 I believe. It is so good and so addicting, I just had to share to get you all in on it right away!

There are a couple of “drawbacks” to this series that I feel I must share but understand I share these with you but do not personally feel like it makes this series any less unique and amazing.

First: It is a shot in a “found footage” format. The “entries” can be dizzying at times, but for me it adds something, something frightening.

Second: The acting, all be it not Oscar worthy, let us remember that these are not professionals. Here at Horror Aficionados we also have made movies and the same may be said about our films. It is the passion and creativity that makes these independents their charm, so don’t judge to hard, everybody starts from somewhere. Also as the series moves forward the acting gets worlds better.

Third: If you are a Gorehound like my love, well, Gorehound, you may find this series slightly disappointing in that it has no real gore. Yes there is blood, but it’s not truck loads.

Forth: You do have to jump back and forth from Marble Hornets and Totheark all while paying attention to the dates. This can be a tad bit daunting, but for me totally worth it.

Neither here nor there this series is amazing and I and I can’t wait to watch it unfold! I may be very vague here but I just wouldn’t sleep well in my coffin tonight knowing that I gave away all the sweet delicious secrets. Please watch this series.

Til next time, stay haunted ghoulies!

-Ashely Sinderella

Jacob’s Ladder (1990) -review by the Director

 

This film came out in 1990. It’s been under the radar for me. I’d heard people say it was good, but enthusiasm sells and no one seemed to love it. One of my fellow aficionados Chris Webb, was the enthusiastic sell. After he told me how much he liked it I found it on Netflix and sat down for a watch.

The first rung:

The movie starts off slow and cautious. Jacob (a young Tim Robbins)  is working as a mailmen. He is living with a co-worker, Jezzy, an attractive emotional and sexual latino girlfriend. Jacob has flash backs to vietman where he was a solider. He was apparently badly wounded in action but survives. He also has flash backs to his first marriage. His marriage evidently disintegrated after the death of his young son Gabe (a young Macauly Culkin) who’s death he feels somewhat responsible for, though he was hit by a car.

Down the Ladder:

This is a cerebral thriller. As the movie unfolds it becomes harder and harder to distinguish which reality is the one Jacob lives in. Is he dreaming while in Vietnam, living with Jezzy, still married and dreaming.

There is a steady dread overwhelming to the film. Jacob feels he being followed by demons. He meets up with other me members of his squad in the war. They join with him to expose a government experiment called the LSD ladder, and it goes wrong. Then we aren’t sure if Jacob was even in the war. He is in a mental hospital having tests done on him. Then it’s unclear if he ever survived the war. It’s all a mystery.

Jacob is metaphorically scaling down a ladder into insanity. 

Acting:

Tim Robbins is great and establishes himself as the even greater actor he will become. Danny Aiello plays Jacob’s chiropractor and pseudo psychologist. He has some great lines and all the scenes with him and Jacob are magic. Those seemingly innocuous moments in the movie are the grounding between Jacob and reality. Good stuff.

Gore:

The movie has it’s moments of violent war gore. Some demon special effects and boo-scares.

Sex:

Jezzy get naked several times and they have sex. T & A stuff.

Directing: 

The directing style is grungy and strong. This movie was probably ahead of it’s time. Their are gloomy and bizarre shots that obviously inspired latter film makers. The whole movie has a gritty surreal feel. It’s very slow yet it draws you in. It cries out for a satisfying ending to clear up all this madness.

End of the Ladder:

This movie just moved to slow for me. I couldn’t get into the mind rape. I found myself liking it then wanting it to be over. Though I wanted closure so bad I stuck it out to the end. It’s probably going to have people that like it, and maybe love it. It’s a quality movie and I hate to say it’s bad. I just didn’t dig it. You might, but you will have to decide if this is your kind of movie and take a chance.

-The Director.

GutterBalls 2008 -review by the Director

Gutterballs…

Brought to you buy the clever Canadians of Plot Digger Films (the same company that gave birth, or aborted, Hanger)

Game on:

A couple of rival bowling teams meet in a bowling alley after hours for a little bowling royal.

Strike:

Gutter balls is a highly politically incorrect offense movie. It’s brash and violent. It’s cruel and stereotypical. A brutal rape leads to graphic violence, campy comedy, and rowdy sex.

It’s a mystery serial killer, pick em off one by one, plot.

The gore hits very hard. Gorehounds will be grinning ear to ear with a sadistic smile. Especially during the DIY sex change operation. Not to mention there are a lot of dangerous places to get hurt in a bowling ally, ball returns, pin setters, and pin polishers.

 

It’s sexy including a hot chick in a super high mini skirt bending over to bowl and showing off her naked clam.  You’ll have to watch that scene near the beginning to unleash the fourteen year old boy in you.

The acting is quite bad and zany at times securing it’s B-horror status and cult potential.

She evidently doesn’t like rubber dongs, you’ll see why…

Even though it might be easy to criticize gutter balls for it’s bad acting and low budget feel. It’s a brave film chock full of splatter gore, nudity, and way better than paint by numbers multi-million dollar budget horror.

-The Director.

Haute Tension (High Tension) Aficionado Review

Friend Marie and Alex are on vacation. They arrive at Alex’s parents house to chillax. Marie, the hot chick with a boy’s hair cut, listens to music and masturbates, very nice.

A menacing truck driver killer is the movie’s psychopath. He engages in violent murders and eventually chases the young girls. The ‘high tension’ comes as the girl’s fight for their lives.

The movie doesn’t disappoint with some blood soaked gore.

A Concrete saw, one of Marie’s weapons of choice. 

There is a very whacked twist in the third act. It was our consensus that this was good and bad. We were kind of divided on the twist, some liked it, some not so much. Personally I wasn’t really engaged with Marie and Alex to care by the 60 minute mark.  Ultimately we think this is a horror film worth watching, but don’t go out of your way to see it. Over all most horror fans like it. I can’t imagine it’s anyone’s favorite or in their top 20.

If you like twists, lesbian overtones, and whacked gore including a blow job with a severed head then check it out…

-The Director

The french duo director Alexandre Aja and writer Gregory Levasseur of this flick, later brought us the awesome Hills Have Eyes remake. I highly recommend you see their revision of Hills.

5 Dolls for and August Moon (1970) -review from the Director

5 Dolls for and August Moon (1970)

The lowdown

3 ultra rich business men coerce a scientist to sell his formula for an industrial resin. They all can get rich. The good scientist refuses. The group enjoys themselves on an exclusive island which one can only get to by boat.

This is how we millionaires get down. 

Though the professor is trying to relax with his wife its difficult because he is constantly being offered millions of dollars for his formula. Suddenly the yacht is missing along with a small boat. The boat hand shows up dead. The group is stuck on the island.

Now What?

Now people start getting murdered one by one. It’s a thriller who done it. Husbands and wives are dropping like flies. Until only a few remain. The end if full of twists. Including a long innocuous twist that completely makes the entire previous movie seem nonsensical.

Sex:

All the women and most of the Italian men are gorgeous. No nudity but a nip slip and no sex scenes. There is a strong erotism coming off the women, a secret lesbian affair, and numerous affairs among the married couples. Some of the men even pimp their wife out. Some very dysfunctional rich couples on display. This film could have had a smorgasbord of nudity and lesbian soft core. There was none.

Gore:

Just a silly looking stabbing. Terribly fake gunshots. High body count, this butchered cow.

Acting:

I thought all the acting was par. It’s not hard to play angry, conniving rich bastards, and womanizers.

Directing:

For it’s time, 1970, this was great stuff. Mario Bava was highly regarded by the then film world. The zoom lens had been invented around that time and Bava loved close-ups.

Final Thought:

The very sexy girls and the mystery was all this bird had going for it. I’m not big into traditional mysteries so I had no idea who the killer was nor did I see the double cross later. There didn’t even seem to be clues as to who the killer was, certainly no clues to guess the horrendous twist at the end. The movie needed some eroticism desperately. I don’t even get the title, what is that supposed to mean? As a horror movie it’s one I would pass on. If you are a Bava fan then watch it. If you are looking for something like Black Sunday, this is not it. It was an okay way to spend two hours but I wouldn’t recommend it. Though I’m giving it a low rating, I respect Mario Bava’s huge contribution to film.

1.5 stabs out of five.

-The Director

Ghost Ship

4 out of 5

-Ashley Sin Derella, “This movie is great!!!!!”

-Bloody Bobbie, “I love this movie!”

-Director, “I liked this movie a lot. Starts out gruesome and continues as a solid good time.”

-Gorehound, “The wire slice in the beginning is the best scene!

Breathing Room reviewed by Drunk Rant

Breathing Room

The question of how humans will react in extreme situation of life and death will always be of interest.

The situation is: you awake with no memory of how you got to a room with 13 strangers. It is generally understood that you will embark on a game where the winner lives and the losers die. Clues to help you survive are slowly givin to you. You can’t trust anyone.

The truth is we can all identify with one of the 13. We all react to things in a way that would be similar to how the 13 reacted. How would you handle the situation?
Some of us are leaders, and will always try seek answers.
Some are followers.
Some are independant. Always questioning even the reasonable.
Some are liars. Seeking their own advantage.
Some are what I will label folders. Not even able to cope with the preasure.

What is strange is the idea of who we would want to be vs. who we really are. I think that no one wants to be weak. No one wants to be a liar. But yet, we are. There always is a weak person and a liar. There is always a selfish person and there is alway a leader. You may never really know who you are unless you are put to the test.

There is no escaping the fact that Breathing Room is a version of the SAW movies. And while SAW is one of the greats, Breathing room does have its own ending. Just don’t expect it to match any kind of SAW greatness.

I ask you this: Are we already in a room fighting for our own survival? Has someone already givin us clues and just watching to see how it all unfolds?

The drink of choice for this is everclear from the bottle.

-Drunk Rant

Sweet Insanity reviewed by Drunk Rant

Sweet Insanity

 

The idea of insanity in horror films is very useful. While giving limitless options it also allows for reasonless killings. But while reasonless it must also be reasonable.

I can handle not knowing who is the killer, but I still need to be able to have a plazable understanding of how they could be the killer. You can’t just throw me a, it was them all along, with no possible explanation of how it was possible.

Sweet Insanity from the get go was insanely weak. It hurt to watch the, saved by the bell, beginning credits. The plus is that there is alot of beer drinking.

Here is what I would do to improve this movie:

Add a nude scene

Incorporate some sort of insanity

Actually show when someone gets stabbed

Don’t show an aggressive saw trimmer at the beginning to never be used in some sort of blood fest

Provide random clues through out the movie helping show who may and may not be the killer but also who is not… if you follow me

Drink of choice is miller high life

Maybe better off just getting the beer.

-Drunk Rant

Absentia reviewed by Rabid Fox

 

Overview: This film opens with main character Tricia pulling down old, weathered missing person flyers and replacing them with crisp new copies. Early on we find out that Tricia’s husband Daniel has been missing for seven years which is the time required for him to be declared legally dead in absentia. Tricia’s sister Callie comes to help support her big sister (big and prego btw, someone call Springer!) through the ordeal. Throughout the film Tricia is trying to cope with Daniel’s disappearance but is haunted by nightmarish images of the missing husband. Meanwhile, Callie begins to learn that a nearby tunnel used by joggers may be linked to many, many more disappearances. As Callie uncovers more evidence of sinister forces at work, the mysterious “something” starts to pay her special attention.

Impressions: What I like best about Absentia, without giving too much away (while spoil the fun?), is that this movie has a great emotional core. I found the opener with the “missing person” flyers to be very somber and helped me connect with Tricia’s mindset right away. Furthermore, every character is trapped in some sort of limbo. Tricia cannot really move on; even the death certificate in absentia doesn’t provide real closure. Tricia’s baby-daddy, the nice, well-meaning police officer, is stuck in emotional limbo because of Tricia’s situation. Callie is in addiction/recovery limbo, is also affected by Tricia’s situation, and gets drawn into and obsessed with the mysterious disappearance of Daniel and the others. Even Daniel’s parents show up in one brief but powerful scene and we’re given a glimpse of their ongoing pain at not knowing what has become of their son. And as for Daniel, well… you’ll see…

While there are some genuine scares in the film , the Daniel “apparition/hallucination” is creepy without succumbing to the “jump scare” trope, we are also, through much of the movie, left wondering if the events are indeed supernatural or just Tricia’s grief-stricken imaginings and Callie’s drug and alcohol-driven hallucinations. The real horror of Absentia comes after the fate of all the characters is revealed and you’ve had time to really let the situation sink in.

Other tidbits: Genre fans will enjoy a cameo performance by Doug Jones.(of Hellboy and “just about everything nowadays” fame). Also, this was a really good work especially given the relatively low (and Kickstarted!) budget.
Rating: 3 out of 5 for the slow, horrifying reveal.

-Rabid Fox